71 Funniest Bagel Jokes

Craving a slice of humor? Let’s roll into these bagel jokes, crafted to perfection and guaranteed to fill the hole in your comedic appetite!

Bagel One-Line Jokes

1. What did the bagel say to the computer? “Byte me!”

2. When Ace met a bagel: “Looks like we’ve both been through the fire.

3. How does a bagel introduce its wife? “Meet my butter half!”

4. Bagels: the doughnut’s less flashy cousin.

5. I had a joke about bagels, but it had a hole in it.

6. Bagels: The doughnut’s healthier sibling.

7. Why do bagels love tennis? Because they’re great at serves.

8. How do bagels flirt? “I like you a hole lot!”

9. What did the bagel name its baby? Mini roll.

10. Bagels in space? That’s some out-of-this-world dough.

11. Lost bagel? Consider it a hole in one.

12. My bagel’s a great listener; it always has an open ear.

13. Tried a new bagel flavor today; it was a hole new experience.

14. Why was the bagel acting so shady? It was a seedy character.

Bagel Joke

15. My bagel business is booming. Sales are rolling in!

16. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was feeling a little crusty!

17. Why did the bagel get into trouble? It was up to no good in the breadbox!

18. Why did the bagel join the orchestra? It loved roll music.

19. Why was the bagel feeling blue? It was stuffed with blueberry filling.

20. My bagel went on a diet; it’s now a slim dough.

21. Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many issues to toast.

22. How do bagels stay cool in the summer? They use cream cheese as sunscreen.

23. Why did the bagel get promoted? It was on a roll at work.

24. If bagels were in “Naruto,” they’d surely have a hole lot of chakra!

25. How did the bagel compliment the toast? “You’re so crusty and warm!”

26. Why was the bagel so bad at baseball? It always got caught in a jam.

27. I like my friends how I like my bagels: with a hole lot of character.

Best Bagel Puns

28. What does a polite bagel say?
“Pardon me, dough you have a moment?”

29. Why did the bagel join the circus?
It wanted to be a dough-tumbling act.

30. How does a bagel apologize?
“Sorry, I was baked when I said that.”

31. Why did the bagel go to the barber?
To get a fresh roll cut.

32. How do you make a bagel giggle?
Tickle its topping!

33. Why was the bagel so good at meditation?
It had inner peace of bread.

34. Why was the bagel so good at chess?
It always knew when to check-mate.

35. Why did the bagel join a music band?
It wanted to play the bongos!

36. Why did the bagel apply to the university?
It wanted a higher toast of education.

37. Why did the bagel go to the art gallery?
It had a taste for the finer dough-tails.

38. Why did the bagel always lose at poker?
It always played its hand on a roll.

39. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music?
Anything that’s poppy and seeded.

40. Why did the bagel go on a diet?
It didn’t want to be a doughy delight.

Bagel Joke

41. What did the bagel do when it won the lottery?
It bread the wealth around.

42. Why did the bagel apply for the job in the bakery?
It wanted to rise to the occasion.

43. How did the bagel greet its friend from Italy?

44. Why did the bagel get locked out of its computer?
It forgot the bread-password.

45. How does a bagel ask someone out on a date?
“Would you loaf to join me?”

46. What’s a bagel’s favorite animal at the zoo?
The bread panda.

47. Why did the bagel go to the music concert?
To jam out!

48. Why did the bagel file a police report?
It was mugged in the bread box.

49. Why was the bagel so stressed?
It was spread too thin.

50. How do you comfort a sad bagel?
Butter it up with compliments!

51. Why did the bagel join a book club?
It wanted to read between the lines.

Most Funny Bagel Jokes

52. What did the bagel say during meditation?
“I’m at inner piece.”

53. Why did the bagel get promoted?
It always brought in the dough.

54. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of movie?
Anything that’s bread-rated.

55. Why did the bagel join the orchestra?
It wanted to be a roll model.

Bagel Joke

56. What’s a bagel’s favorite dance?
The twist and toast.

57. Why did the bagel need glasses?
It couldn’t see the spread coming.

58. How does a bagel break up with its partner?
“It’s not you, it’s the yeast.”

59. What did the bagel say at its retirement?
It’s time to loaf around.

60. Why was the bagel calm in the face of danger?
It had been through the toaster before.

61. Asta from “Black Clover” tried to nullify a bagel’s magic,
only to find it irresistibly delicious.

62. What’s a bagel’s favorite movie?
“Bready Player One.”

63. Why was the bagel so good at tennis?
It had a killer serve.

64. What does a bagel call its grandparents?
Old doughs!

65. Why did the bagel get a ticket?
It rolled through a stop sign.

66. What did the bagel say after a bad day?
“Tomorrow, I’ll rise again.”

67. Why did the bagel visit the doctor?
It had a yeast infection.

68. How does a bagel propose?
“Will you marry me, or is this toast?”

69. When Ace tried to toast a bagel,
it said, “I’m already fired up!”

70. Why was the bagel blushing?
It saw the cream cheese undressing.

71. What do you call a sneaky bagel?
A stealthy roll.


As our whirlwind tour of bagel humor comes to an end, let’s remember that life, like our favorite breakfast treat, is best enjoyed with a sprinkle of laughter and a generous spread of joy. Until next time, keep rolling with the puns and toasting to the lighter side of life!


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