70 Funniest Books Never Written Jokes

Welcome to the whimsical world of “books never written,” where imagination meets humor in a delightful dance of wordplay. These fictional titles invite you to explore a universe filled with the impossible, the absurd, and the downright hilarious.

Buckle up for a literary journey that’s guaranteed to tickle your funny bone as you browse the shelves of the most extraordinary library that never was!

Books Never Written One-Liner Jokes

1. How to Stay Dry in a Rainforest” by April Showers.

2. Perfect Elevator Music” by Ben Upandown.

3. “Unsuccessful Fishing Trips” by Rod N. Reel.

4. “How to Communicate with Cats” by Claude Scratch.

5. “The Art of Overcooking” by Chris P. Bacon.

6. “How to Tame Wildflowers” by Lily N. Rose.

7. “Everything About Parachuting” by Will I. Land.

8. “Living on a Shoestring Budget” by Penny Pincher.

9. “How to Make Friends in the Arctic” by I.C. People.

10. A Guide to Walking on Walls” by Spider Mann.

11. “The Joy of Missing Socks” by Wanda Findem.

12. “The Mystery of Disappearing Ink” by Nowyousee M. Nowyoudont.

13. “How to Win an Argument with a Teenager” by I. Giveup.

14. “Living Life Without a Care” by Y. Worry.

15. “My Life as a Lightbulb” by Watt A. Brightidea.

Books Never Written Joke

16. “The Ultimate Guide to Napping ” by Al Tuckeredout.

17. “How to Fix Anything with Duct Tape” by Justin Case.

18. “A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding Women” by No Man Ever.

19. “The Lost Art of Saying Nothing” by M.T. Head.

20. “Winning Tug of War Tournaments” by Paul Hard.

21. “Finding Your Way Out of a Paper Bag: A Comprehensive Guide” by Ima Lost.

22. “Becoming Best Friends with Your In-Laws: A Fairy Tale” by Hope Less.

23. “Achieving the Perfect Tan While Living in Antarctica” by Al B. White.

24. “Cooking Delicious Meals with Just Ice and Air” by Anne Impossible.

25. Growing Roses on the Moon: A Botanist’s Space Adventure” by Stella Petals.

26. A Vegetarian’s Guide to Cooking Steaks: Finding the Ideal Sizzle” by Herb I. Vore.

27. “Building Castles in the Sky: An Architect’s Fantasy” by Drew A. Dream.

28. “Running Marathons While Sleeping: An Exercise Paradox” by Snore A. Lott.

29. “The Complete Manual to Teaching Fish to Climb Trees” by Gill A. Mountaineer.

30. “Successfully Dodging Taxes for Dummies: A Politician’s Perspective” by Evade N. Pay.

Best Books Never Written Puns

31. “Finding the End of a Rainbow: A Leprechaun’s Guide” by Goldie Potts. Spoiler: He’s still looking!

32. “The Secrets of Raising Unicorns” by Fanta C. Real. A must-read if you’re planning a trip to Neverland!

33. “How to Cook with Invisible Ingredients” by Seying Isbelieving. It’s a hit among imaginary friends.

34. “The Joys of Watching Paint Dry” by Bore D. Stiff. It’s the slowest-selling book in history!

35. “Dancing with Porcupines: A Prickly Affair” by Spike E. Tango. A guide to handling life’s pointy problems.

36. “How to Make a Fortune Selling Sand in the Desert” by Dusty Rhodes. A surprisingly gritty read.

37. “Growing Ice in the Sahara: A Gardener’s Challenge” by Sandy Freeze. Critics claim it’s a rather dry book.

38. A Guide to Walking on Water: First Step – Don’t Sink” by C. Walker. Comes with a free life jacket!

39. “Becoming a Master of Procrastination” by Will D. Later. Expected publication date: still pending…

Books Never Written Joke

40. “How to Win at Tic-Tac-Toe Against Yourself” by X. O. Xo. The ultimate guide to playing both sides!

41. “Unlimited Wealth: Finding Pennies on the Street” by Penny Liss. You’ll need to pinch yourself after reading this!

42. “The Ultimate Guide to Holding Your Breath for an Hour” by Anita Gaspar. Readers are left breathless!

43. “Living Without Oxygen: A Human’s Perspective” by Aaron O’Free. Sadly, the author couldn’t stick around for signings.

44. “How to Tell if Your Goldfish is Happy: A Pet Psychic’s Manual” by Finn N. Gill. It’s a deep dive into fish emotions!

45. “Levitating for Beginners: Rise Above the Ordinary” by Flo T. Air. This book will lift your spirits!

46. “Becoming Friends with Ghosts: A Haunting Memoir” by I. M. Spooky. A chilling read for every ghost enthusiast!

47. “The World’s Shortest Fairy Tales: Bedtime Stories for Impatient Kids” by Brief N. Short. It’s over before you know it!

48. “How to Watch Grass Grow: A Hobbyist’s Guide” by Lawn G. Wait. It’s cutting-edge entertainment!

49. Losing Weight by Eating Cake: A Dieter’s Fantasy” by Fatty McButterpants. The tastiest way to drop those pounds!

50. “Failing Successfully: How I Did Everything Wrong and Still Got Nowhere” by Misty Q. Opportunity. It’s a journey to nowhere!

Most Funny Books Never Written Jokes

51. “Escaping Quicksand with Style” by Sandy McStuck. A step-by-step guide – just don’t take the wrong step!

52. Dining with Dinosaurs: A Time Traveler’s Cookbook” by T. Rex. A rare treat for the culinary adventurer!

53. “A Romance Novel for Robots” by A.I. Lovelace. Critics say it’s a bit mechanical but has a heart of gold (plating).

54. “Growing Trees Upside Down: A Gardener’s Mistake” by Root E. Wrongway. A book that gets to the bottom of things.

55. “Living Life Without WiFi: A Modern Tragedy” by Connie E. Shun. It’s a disconnected narrative!

56. “How to Become a Professional Nap Taker” by Siesta Forever. Read it in bed for the best experience!

57. “The Art of Collecting Shadows: A Light-Hearted Hobby” by Shady Character. Perfect for those who follow in others’ footsteps.

Books Never Written Joke

58. “Synchronized Swimming for Cats: A Purrfect Guide” by Kitty Paddle. Warning: Your cat may not agree with the author.

59. “How to Breathe Underwater Without Equipment” by Gasp N. Air. Not recommended for actual use!

60. “A Guide to Building Castles in the Sky: Financing Your Dreams” by Lotta Air. A lofty read for the imaginative mind.

61. “The Joys of Counting Grains of Sand: A Beachgoer’s Handbook” by Sandy Shore. Perfect for those who like to keep busy!

62. “The End of the World’s Problems: Solved in 10 Pages” by Arm A. Geddon. Critics say it’s quite an explosive read!

63. “Finding Bigfoot: A Guide to Befriending the Elusive Beast” by Harry Sightings. The author is still out looking.

64. “The Zen of Yelling: Finding Peace Through Screaming” by Holler N. Shout. A surprisingly loud approach to inner calm.

65. “Flying Without Wings: A Penguin’s Perspective” by Flappy McFlightless. A down-to-earth look at life’s challenges.

66. “An Alien’s Guide to Understanding Humans” by E.T. Confused. It’s out of this world but down-to-earth.

67. “Climbing Invisible Mountains: A Philosopher’s Workout” by Deep Thought. A mental and physical challenge in every chapter!

68. “Marrying Myself: A Guide to Self-Love” by Ima Lone. A wedding planner like no other.

69. “Building Sandcastles with a Bulldozer” by Sandy Destruction. Heavy machinery meets delicate art.

70. “How to Cook a Three-Course Meal Using Only a Toaster” by Burnt E. Crust. A culinary adventure for the truly brave!


Thank you for exploring this unique collection of “books never written,” where each title is a gateway to laughter and creative thinking. From the outlandish to the delightfully absurd, these fictional works have taken us on a journey beyond the boundaries of the ordinary.

May your own imagination be enriched, and may you find joy in the unexpected corners of life’s literary landscape!


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