60 Funniest Card Jokes

Get ready to be dealt a hand of humor with these playful card-related one-liners! From poker to solitaire, these jokes are a winning combination for any card enthusiast. Let’s shuffle through the fun!

Card One-Liner Jokes

1. I told my cards a joke, but they just kept playing it close to the chest.

2. Poker players don’t like talking about their problems; they just shuffle through them.

3. I tried to make a deck of cards laugh, but it was a tough crowd; they remained poker-faced.

4. My cards told me they were feeling boxed in, so I dealt them out for some fresh air.

5. My card-playing dog is amazing; every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!

6. My friend lost his whole fortune playing cards; he should have known when to fold ’em.

7. Playing solitaire with real cards? That’s the old-school way of “swiping right.”

8. I asked my cards if they wanted to go for a swim, but they didn’t want to risk a full house.

9. Want to hear a construction joke about playing cards? Oh, never mind, I’m still building it.

10. I tried to make a belt out of playing cards but soon realized it was just a waist of time.

11. Why was the playing card feeling so negative? It just couldn’t deal with life’s ups and downs.

12. When I play cards with my cat, I always lose; she’s got too many aces up her paw!

card joke

13. I asked my deck of cards for advice, and it said, “Take life one card at a time.”

14. Playing cards in a storm? Now that’s a way to get your game all washed up!

15. I told my playing cards to behave, but they were just a pack of rebels.

16. My friend’s card game is so boring, even the cards are falling asleep.

17. Why don’t cards ever go to school? They already know their numbers and suits!

18. My cards must be magicians; they disappear every time I have a winning hand.

19. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something, just like my playing cards.

20. If you ever feel like a playing card, remember, life always has a way of dealing you back in.

21. Playing cards in the jungle is risky; too many cheetahs!

22. Why was the card feeling blue? Because it wasn’t dealt a fair hand.

23. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity and playing cards; it’s impossible to put down.

24. Playing cards with farm animals? That’s a game that will always be a boar!

Best Cards Puns

25. What did the poker player say after a losing streak? “I guess I’m just not playing with a full deck!”

26. Why don’t cards argue with each other? They like to deal with their problems quietly and never want to play their hand too soon!

27. What did the blackjack dealer say to the deck? “I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but you’ve always dealt me a good hand!”

28. Why did the magician bring a deck of cards to his job interview? He wanted to show that he always had a trick up his sleeve!

29. Why don’t cards ever get lonely? With four suits, they’re always well-dressed for any social occasion!

30. Why did the Ace of Spades go to school? To improve its rank, but it always felt a bit above the rest of the class!

card joke

31. What’s a playing card’s favorite sport? Poker, of course, because they love a game where they can always be dealt in!

32. Why did the card game end in a draw? Both players were so good, they each played their cards right!

33. What did the card player say to the thief? “You may have stolen my wallet, but you’ll never steal my deck!”

34. Why was the card game in the jungle so wild? Because the players were a bunch of cheetahs!

35. Why are cards like musicians? They always come with a full band, including drums and trumpets!

36. Why did the poker player keep taking notes? Because he wanted to keep track of all the great hands he was dealt!

37. Why are cards terrible storytellers? They always deal with too many issues and never get to the point!

38. What did the deck of cards say to the magician? “We may be stacked against you, but we’re all in this trick together!”

39. What did the Ace of Spades say to the Queen of Hearts? “You’re the reason I beat everything!”

40. How do you know if your deck of cards is stressed? When they start to crack under pressure and fold at the slightest touch!

Funniest Cards Jokes

41. Why don’t poker players trust cards?
Because even the best of them can deal with a bad hand!

42. What do you call a conversation between two decks of cards?
A heart-to-heart!

43. Why don’t cards ever get lost?
Because they always find their way back to the deck!

44. What did the one playing card say to the other?
“I can’t deal with you anymore!”

45. Why did the poker player bring a pencil to the game?
To get to the point of the story!

46. What do you call a deck of cards that won’t cooperate?
Revolting, because they always start a shuffle!

47. Why are poker players always cold?
Because there’s always a draft when they deal!

card joke

48. What did the poker player say to his doctor?
Every time I get a good hand, my heart races!

49. What do you call a card game for single people?

50. Why couldn’t the two fours date the two sixes?
Because they were already a pair!

51. Why don’t cards ever get tired?
They come with plenty of suits!

52. Why was the credit card feeling distressed?
Because it was fed up with the constant charges against it!

53. Why did the deck of cards go to school?
Because it wanted to improve its shuffle!

54. What did the King say to the Queen of Hearts?
“You’re the only queen of my deck!”

55. Why did the scarecrow become a successful card player?
Because he was outstanding in his field!

56. What did the Joker say to the Ace?
“You might be high, but I’m wild!”

57. How do cards flirt with each other?
They like to play their hearts out!

58. Why was the math book looking at the deck of cards?
Because it wanted to study all the possible combinations!

59. Why was the magician so good at playing cards?
He always had a trick up his sleeve!

60. What did the Queen say to the King?
You rule my heart, but I’m in charge of the deck!


We’ve played through a full deck of laughs, from the shuffle to the showdown. No matter the game or the hand you’re dealt, these card jokes will keep you smiling. Here’s to never folding on fun, and always playing the humor card!


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