85 ComeBack Jokes To Make You Laugh

Prepare to unleash your inner comedian with these snappy puns! Perfect for those who appreciate a touch of sarcasm and humor, these jokes are quick, clever, and guaranteed to get a laugh.

ComeBack One-Liner Jokes

1. I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

2. “You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.”

3. “If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d be in debt.”

4. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

5. “You’re about as useful as a white crayon.”

6. “I’d insult you, but nature did a better job.”

7. “Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.”

8. “You have such a beautiful face… But let’s put a bag over that personality.”

9. “I’d explain it to you, but I’m out of puppets and crayons.”

10. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.”

11. “You’re as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense.”

12. You’re like Monday mornings, nobody likes you.

13. “You’re the reason I prefer to be an animal lover.”

14. “I’d love to insult you, but you wouldn’t understand.”

15. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.

ComeBack Joke

16. Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

17. “You’re proof that evolution sometimes goes in reverse.”

18. “I’d challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you’re unarmed.”

19. “If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.”

20. You’re so dense, light bends around you.

21. “I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?”

22. “Your IQ is so low, it’s in the negative numbers.”

23. “You’re the reason we have warning labels on everything.”

24. “You’re like a cloud; when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”

25. “If laughter is the best medicine, your face is curing the world.”

26. “You’re so dense, scientists classify you as a black hole.”

27. “You’re not a complete idiot; some parts are clearly missing.”

28. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

29. “You’re as bright as a solar eclipse at midnight.”

30. “You’re like a software update – whenever I see you, I think ‘not now’.”

Best ComeBack Puns

31. Your family tree must be a cactus
because everybody on it is a prick.”

32. “I’d explain it to you,
but your brain might explode.”

33. “I’d agree with you,
but then we’d both be wrong.”

34. “I refuse to engage in a battle of wits
with an unarmed person.”

35. “I was hoping for a battle of wits,
but you appear to be unarmed.”

36. “I’m not saying I hate you,
but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.”

37. “Keep talking,
someday you’ll say something intelligent!”

38. “I don’t know what makes you so dumb
but it really works.”

39. “I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and
crap out a smarter statement than that.”

40. “I’d insult you,
but you’re not bright enough to notice.”

41. “Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot
but not for me to point it out?”

42. “You’re a gray sprinkle on a
rainbow cupcake.”

43. “If your brain was dynamite,
there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

44. “You are proof that evolution
CAN go in reverse.”

45. I’ll never forget the first time we met.
But I’ll keep trying.”

ComeBack Joke

46. “I’d tell you to go to hell,
but I don’t want to see you again.”

47. “You have an entire life to be an idiot.
Why not take today off?”

48. “Your only chance of getting laid is to
crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait.”

49. “You’re not as bad as people say.
You’re much, much worse.”

50. “I’d challenge you to a battle of wits,
but it seems you’re unarmed.”

51. “You’re about as useful as a screen door
on a submarine.

52. “Your intellect is rivaled only by
garden tools.”

53. “You bring everyone a lot of joy…
when you leave the room.”

54. “You’re as bright as a black hole
and twice as dense.”

55. “I would have liked to insult you,
but with your intelligence, you wouldn’t get offended.”

56. “You’re the reason the gene
pool needs a lifeguard.”

57. “You’re not the stupidest person on Earth,
but you better hope he doesn’t die.”

58. “I’d challenge you to a battle of wits
but it’s against my morals to attack an unarmed person.”

59. “It’s kind of sad watching you attempt to fit your
entire vocabulary into one sentence.”

60. “You’re like a glue stick – you have the potential to stick things together,
but you’re not quite there.”

Funniest ComeBack Jokes

61. “I’d explain it to you
but I don’t have any puppets or crayons.”

62. “I can remove 90% of your ‘beauty’
with a tissue.”

63. “You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread.
Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.”

64. “If laughter is the best medicine,
your face must be curing the world.”

65. “You’re not the dumbest person in the world,
but you better hope he doesn’t die.”

66. “I’d agree with you,
but then we’d both be wrong.”

67. “You’re the reason
God created the middle finger.”

68. “You’re so ugly, when you threw a boomerang,
it refused to come back.”

69. “It’s impossible to
underestimate you.”

70. “I’d love to stay and chat,
but I’d rather have type-2 diabetes.”

ComeBack Joke

71. “Your secrets are always safe with me.
I never even listen when you tell me them.”

72. “You have the perfect face for
radio.”

73. “You’re the reason
the gene pool needs a lifeguard.”

74. “If I had a face like yours,
I’d sue my parents.”

75. “Your birth certificate is an apology letter
from the condom factory.”

76. “You are the human version of
period cramps.”

77. “Some cause happiness wherever they go;
you cause happiness whenever you go.”

78. “I’d like to see things from your point of view,
but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.

79. “I’ve seen people like you before,
but I had to pay admission.”

80. “Remember when I asked for your opinion?
Me neither.”

81. You’re the reason I prefer animals
to people.”

82. “If I wanted to hear from an asshole,
I’d fart.”

83. “You’re as useful as a
knitted condom.”

84. “You’re like a software update – whenever I see you,
I immediately think ‘not now’.”

85. “You’re like a cloud. When you disappear,
it’s a beautiful day.”

Conclusion

Hope you enjoyed this collection of witty puns! Remember, the best jokes are those shared with friends, so spread the laughter. Keep smiling and keep the humor alive!

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