80 Cyber Security Jokes to Make you Laugh

Plug into the lighter side of cyber security, where the puns are mightier than the password. Prepare for a byte of humor with a side of witty encryption!

Cyber Security One-Liner Jokes

1. I have a joke on cyber security, but let’s not spread it around; it might go viral.

2. Hackers have the best posture; they always mind their backdoors.

3. I wanted a career in cyber security, but I found I couldn’t hack it.

4. Cybersecurity experts are like cats; they think no door applies to them.

5. Told my computer to act its age, and now it won’t stop playing old DOS games.

6. Hackers never get old; they just find new exploits.

7. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

8. I don’t always test my code, but when I do, I do it in production.

9. I changed my password to “incorrect,” so my computer just tells me when I forget.

10. A hacker’s favorite musical instrument? The keyboard.

11. I’d tell you a cyber security joke, but I don’t want to make you feel vulnerable.

12. Why don’t hackers like nature? Too many bugs.

13. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Microchips.

14. What did the hacker say to his victim? “I ransomware you can’t refuse.”

15. You know you’re a hacker when… your digital footprint is just a single toe.

Cyber Security Joke

16. I knew a hacker who was a baker; he forgot the recipe, so he just stole a cookie.

17. Cybersecurity is like a game of whack-a-mole with a keyboard instead of a hammer.

18. In a world of autocorrect, a typo might be the only thing you truly own.

19. Hackers don’t retire; they just terminate their sessions.

20. If a hacker slips in the shower, does he make a sound or just a data leak?

21. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.

22. My computer’s got the Miley virus; it’s stopped twerking.

23. Hackers love to spoon… but only when they can fork your repo first.

24. My cybersecurity strategy is like my underwear: changed often, and never shared.

25. A hacker’s favorite golf club? The driver.

26. My computer must be a comedian; it has a funny way of losing all my files.

27. I caught a hacker stealing my bandwidth; he really took me for a ride.

28. What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a computer? The backspace.

29. I gave my computer a virus. It’s homeopathic malware, makes it immune to real threats.

30. My password is a Russian doll; it’s full of smaller passwords.

Best Cyber Security Puns

31. Why do hackers wear glasses?
– Because they need to C-sharp!

32. Why don’t cyber security experts get locked out of their houses?
– Because they always have the right key-logging.

33. What’s a hacker’s favorite season?
– Phishing season.

34. Why was the computer cold at the party?
– It left its Windows open.

35. What do cyber criminals eat for dessert?
– Cookies. They just can’t resist them.

36. How does a hacker sneeze?
– “Achoo! Sorry, I just released a virus!”

37. What did the cyber security expert say to the submarine captain?
– “I’m here to patch your security holes.”

38. Why was the cybersecurity professional bad at chess?
– Because he thought a good offense was the best antivirus.

39. How many hackers does it take to change a light bulb?
– None. They just found a way to stay in the dark.

40. What did the computer say to the cybersecurity expert?
– “Without you, my life would be just a series of unprotected ports.”

Cyber Security Joke

41. What’s a ghost’s favorite security tool?
– BOOlean logic.

42. Why did the cyber security pro cross the road?
– To chase the phishing scam that got away.

43. What do you call a fight between two cyber security experts?
– Fire-wall.

44. What did the spider do on the computer?
– Made a website.

45. What’s a hacker’s least favorite game?
– Capture The Flag.

46. How does a cyber security expert flirt?
– “Are you a 90 degree angle? Because you’re looking right.”

47. Why do hackers refuse to play hide and seek with the government?
– Because good luck hiding when the opponent has all the backdoors.

48. What did the cyber criminal’s friend say after he complained about chilly weather?
– “Just stand in the corner; it’s 90 degrees there.”

49. How do you know if you’re a true cyber security expert?
– When you have more patches than an old pair of jeans.

50. Why did the computer break up with the internet?
– There were too many bytes of infidelity.

Funniest Cyber Security Jokes

51. Why do hackers never get lonely?
– Because they have so many “bots” for friends!

52. How did the hacker escape the police?
– He just ransomware!

53. Why do cyber security experts make terrible friends?
– They’ll always find your vulnerabilities.

54. Why did the computer take a nap?
– Because it had too many sleepy processes from running a marathon of crypt(ographic) tasks!

55. What do you call a hacker with insomnia?
– Someone who’s up all night trying to find a good “sleep” mode.

56. Why are insecure websites like haunted houses?
– They both have too many ghosts in the shell.

57. What’s a hacker’s favorite kind of attack?
– A byte.

58. Why don’t cyber criminals like the outdoors?
– Because there’s too much “phishing” competition.

59. Why did the hacker break up with the internet?
– There was no “connection.”

60. Why did the computer keep freezing?
– It was afraid of catching a virus.

Cyber Security Joke

61. How do hackers pick up lines?
– “Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection, but it might be insecure.”

62. Why do hackers love elevators?
– They enjoy hijacking things on so many levels.

63. What’s a hacker’s favorite type of music?
– Heavy metal. Because it’s all about the metal and less about the “core” security.

64. How do you know if your computer’s been hacked on Halloween?
– It gives you a “trick” before the “treat.”

65. Why did the virus break up with the malware?
– It wasn’t working out; their relationship was too toxic.

66. Why was the cybersecurity expert paranoid at the airport?
– He couldn’t trust any of the “ports.”

67. Why don’t cyber security pros like nature documentaries?
– Too much “phishing” and “spoofing.”

68. Why do cyber security experts dislike unicycles?
– Because there’s no such thing as one-wheel drive encryption.

69. What’s a computer’s least favorite type of tree?
– The “phishing” tree, because they never know what they’ll catch.

70. Why are computer viruses like vampires?
– They both prey on the unsuspecting and spread by byte.

71. Why do hackers hate daylight?
– They thrive in dark web environments!

72. What’s a zombie’s favorite type of attack?
– A DDoS attack, because they like to bring friends.

73. Why did the computer get glasses?
– To improve its site security.

74. Why do cyber security pros hate summer?
– Too many bugs.

75. Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open, and now it has too many frozen bytes.

76. Why don’t cyber criminals like fast food?
– They can’t stand the idea of drive-thru service.

77. What do you call a hacker who’s bad at spelling?
– An encryptionist.

78. Why did the virus go to school?
– To improve its infective skills.

79. What’s a hacker’s favorite hangout place?
– The firewall, it’s where they get toasted.

80. Why do hackers do their laundry at the internet café?
– They can clean their cache there.


And with that, we’ve encrypted some smiles and firewalled the blues. Remember, in the world of cyber security, a good laugh is just a data packet away. Keep your humor updated, and your spirits patched against vulnerabilities. Until next time, log off with a grin!


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