95 Most Funny Dad Jokes on Houses

Ever wondered what a house would say if it could talk? Or if houses had their quirks and personalities just like us? Well, these dad jokes give our humble homes a voice, and trust me, they’ve got a sense of humor!

Dad Houses One-Liner Jokes

1. My house’s favorite exercise? The plank.

2. My house loves math; it’s all about the square footage.

3. I told my house a joke, but it roof-used to laugh.

4. Why don’t houses gossip? The walls talk too much.

5. My house is an artist; it has great curb appeal.

6. Asked my house its favorite music: it said, “Roof Rock.”

7. Houses are grounded; they never have uplifting stories.

8. My house is a baker because it always has a dozen windows.

9. Every time my house hears a joke, the doorbell rings out in laughter.

10. My house is a magician; it always has tricks up its sleeve… or ceiling.

11. When my house is sad, it gets a bit down in the dumps…ter.

12. My house’s favorite actor? Wall Smith.

13. My house wanted to be a pop star, but it was afraid of breaking a window.

14. Why do houses hate the wind? It’s too drafty for their taste.

15. I asked my house if it was cold, but it said it had a warm front.

Dad Joke

16. My house tried to play hide and seek, but it always stood out.

17. Houses love comedies; that’s why they crack up.

18. My house loves history; it’s always dwelling on the past.

19. Houses can’t go to school, but they always have a principal room.

20. My house tried to read a horror story but closed the book; it didn’t want any more creaks.

21. My house has a joke, but it’s an inside joke.

22. Why don’t houses date? They’re afraid of commitment issues.

23. My house doesn’t watch TV; it just likes window shopping.

24. Houses hate winter; they always get the chills down their spines.

25. My house loves karaoke; it’s always up for some singling… I mean, shingling.

26. I asked my house its favorite fruit: it’s roofberries.

27. My house doesn’t play cards; it’s afraid of being dealt a bad hand…rail.

28. Why don’t houses work? They’re already built to last.

29. My house doesn’t like seafood; it can’t stand pier pressure.

30. Houses don’t like drama; they prefer stories… usually two.

Best Dad Jokes on Houses

31. Why did the house go to the doctor?
Because it had window pains!

32. What do you call a home that loves to eat?
A bungalow.

33. Why was the house so cool?
It had wall-to-wall fans.

34. Why did the scarecrow win the real estate award?
Because he was outstanding in his field… of houses!

35. How do houses show love?
They put up with each other.

36. Why did the house wear shoes?
To avoid getting a foot in the door!

37. Did you hear about the claustrophobic house?
It needed more space.

38. Why was the math book happy at home?
Because it had too many problems solved there!

39. Why don’t houses make good secret keepers?
Because the walls have ears!

40. Why did the house say to the tornado?
I’m not moving, you blow over!

41. Why did the house join a gym?
To get into better estate!

42. How do you give a house a tissue?
You knock on its door!

43. Why did the house go to school?
To improve its foundation!

44. Did you hear about the house that got promoted?
It became an estate.

45. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the house salad dressing!

Dad Joke

46. Why don’t houses pass exams?
Too many foundation problems.

47. How did the house say hello?
Hey there, roof-top of the morning to ya!

48. Why did the house wear glasses?
To improve its curb appeal.

49. What’s a house’s favorite type of music?
Roof rock.

50. Why was the belt arrested outside the house?
For holding up a pair of pants on the washing line!

51. Why did the house love winter?
Because it could wear its roof muffler!

52. Why did the house get a computer?
To browse the net for modern furniture!

53. How do you make a house laugh?
Tickle its doorbell!

54. Why was the house good at math?
It always had its numbers in order!

55. Why did the house get an award?
For outstanding foundation in the field of architecture!

56. What’s a house’s favorite type of pasta?

57. Why don’t houses get lost?
They always stay grounded.

58. What kind of exercises do houses do?
Plank flooring.

59. Why did the house go to the doctor?
It had a bad case of stairs!

60. Why was the house always positive?
Because it knew that every door closed is just the next one about to open!

Funniest Dad Houses Jokes

61. Why did the house call a therapist?
Because it had too many underlying issues!

62. What do you call a very quiet house?
A hushhold.

63. Why did the house go to the beach?
To shore up its foundations!

64. How do you apologize to a house?
From the bottom of your foundation.

65. Why was the house feeling empty?
Because it didn’t have enough rooms filled with laughter!

66. Why don’t houses go to college?
They already have degrees… in architecture!

67. What’s a house’s favorite game?
Hide and go shingle.

68. Why did the house join a band?
Because it had the keys!

69. What did the brick say to the house?
“I got your back!”

70. Why did the house break up with the apartment?
It felt too boxed in.

71. What’s a house’s favorite type of hat?
A roof cap.

72. Why did the house go on a diet?
It wanted a slender frame!

73. What did the front door say to the back door?
“I think I have a hinge crush on you.”

74. Why did the house refuse to play cards?
Because it was afraid of getting a deck!

75. What did the chimney say to the roof?
You’re over my head!

76. How does a house flirt?
It gives you a wink from its window.

77. Why don’t houses go on vacation?
They’re afraid of being ungrounded.

78. What’s a house’s favorite type of movie?
Anything home-made.

79. Why was the house always calm?
It practiced inner peace… and quiet.

80. Why did the house go on a date with a tent?
It wanted a fling with something more casual!

Dad Joke

81. Why did the house always carry an umbrella?
Because it wanted to keep its roof dry!

82. Why did the house wear a tie?
To look up-to-date when it met the apartment!

83. How does a house stay cool in the summer?
It sits next to the fan-tastic!

84. Why did the house apply for a job?
It wanted to bring home the bacon too!

85. Why did the house refuse to sing?
Because it didn’t want to be a pop house!

86. Why did the house get glasses?
To improve its window sight!

87. How does a house wear its hair?
In a bun-galow.

88. Why did the house join the choir?
Because it had the bricks to hit high notes!

89. What did the apartment say to the house?
“Stop looking down on me!”

90. Why was the house so bad at soccer?
Every time it got near the ball, it’d window!

91. Why did the house refuse to play poker?
It didn’t want to deal with another deck.

92. How does a house flirt at a party?
“Hey there, is your door always open, or just for me?”

93. Why was the house so musical?
It had pipes, keys, and was always in-tune with its surroundings.

94. Why don’t houses get promoted?
Every time they move up, they’re still on the same level.

95. What did the house say after a stormy night?
“That wind was just blowing through; I knew it wouldn’t stay.”


It’s clear that even our homes aren’t spared from a good dad joke. While they might be brick and mortar to some, they’ve got comedic foundations to us. Thanks for letting these house-humors be the doorbell to your laughter!


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