69 Funniest Hair Jokes

Get ready to let your hair down with these hilarious hair-themed jokes! From wild wigs to rebellious strands, we’ve combed through every pun and quip for your entertainment. So, brush off your worries and dive into these hair-larious one-liners that promise a good laugh!

Hair One-Liner Jokes

1. I have an emergency hair plan – it’s called a hat.

2. I don’t lose hair, I gift it to the world.

3. My hair’s not thinning, it’s just playing a game of hide and seek.

4. Every morning my hair does an impression of a rebellious teenager – it refuses to listen.

5. I don’t use hairspray; I have hair ‘don’t’ care!

6. My hair isn’t gray; it’s just wisdom highlights.

7. I’m not bald; my hair is just socially distant from my head.

8. My hairbrush must be a magician, it makes my hair disappear!

9. I told my hair to get in line – it threw a curl tantrum.

10. Bald heads are great – less hair, more headspace.

11. I don’t have a receding hairline, I have an advancing forehead.

12. My hair’s so frizzy, when I comb it, I get static calls.

13. My hairdo isn’t messy, it’s a wind-powered style.

14. I have the kind of hair that makes shampoo bottles weep.

15. My hairstyle is called “Everest” – it’s peak performance.

Hair Joke

16. I don’t go bald; I’m just getting more streamlined.

17. My hair is like a mystery novel – full of unexpected twists.

18. I don’t have a hairline; I have a horizon.

19. My hair isn’t thinning; it’s just playing hard to get.

20. A bad hair day? More like a bad hair decade.

21. I don’t have a hairline; it’s an abstract art piece.

22. My hair isn’t thinning; it’s just playing peek-a-boo.

23. Why was the wig accused in court? It was part of a hair-say case.

24. My hair is like a legendary Pokémon – you never know when it’s going to show up.

25. I tried a new hair gel today. It’s called “Einstein”, now my hair can’t stop thinking.

26. I didn’t choose the bald life; the bald life chose my hair.

27. I asked for a hair-raising story. The barber showed me his prices.

28. My hair isn’t going grey; it’s just transitioning to silver for a more distinguished look.

29. Why did the hair get an award? For outstanding strand performance.

30. My hair’s not messy, it’s just embracing its natural chaos.

Best Hair Puns

31. Why don’t locks gossip?
Because they’re afraid of letting things slip through the hair!

32. Why did the braid go to the therapist?
To untangle its thoughts.

33. Why do bald people never lie?
Because they can’t pull the wool over anyone’s eyes!

34. Why are hair dyes bad at keeping secrets?
They always let the color out of the bag!

35. Why did the hair band go to school?
To learn how to “tie” up loose ends!

36. Why did the fringe get a ticket?
It was always crossing the line!

37. Why did the hair gel sit in the corner?
It couldn’t handle the stress of a “break-up”!

38. Why was the hairspray always calm?
Because it could hold everything together!

39. My balding friend’s favorite part of Shakespeare is
“To hair or not to hair.”

40. Why did the hair end its relationship?
It couldn’t deal with the split ends anymore!

Hair Joke

41. I asked my hairdresser for a new look.
She just shrugged and said, “I’ll mullet over.”

42. Why don’t hairs like to play cards?
They always end up in a tangle!

43. Why was the barber so quick at his job?
Because he was always cutting corners!

44. I asked a bald man for a good hair salon.
He said, “I wouldn’t know, I always cut my own hair.”

45. Why was the ponytail so good at solving problems?
It always kept things tied up neatly!

46. Why did the comb never lose a race?
Because it always took fine-tooth measures!

47. I bought a vintage hairbrush.
It’s great at brushing up on history.

48. Why do bald people make great friends?
They never hair-ass you!

49. Why was the curl so relaxed?
Because it let everything just wave away!

50. Why did the hair tie join the band?
It wanted to get its loop around music!

Most Funny Hair Jokes

51. Why did the hair dye get promoted?
Because it was outstanding in its field of color!

52. Why did the shampoo get a job at the circus?
Because it was great at doing somersaults!

53. Why did the fringe complain?
It couldn’t see the point!

54. Why did the wig go to the party?
To let its hair down!

55. I got a hairpiece made from herbs.
It’s a thyme-saving device!

Hair Joke

56. Why did the hair go to therapy?
It couldn’t cope with the split ends of its relationship.

57. Why did the hairspray break up with the mousse?
It needed more space to hold things together!

58. Why did the bald man carry a rabbit?
He wanted some hare on his head!

59. Why was the hairbrush always optimistic?
Because it saw every mess as a potential masterpiece!

60. My hairdresser asked how I wanted my hair cut.
I replied, “In complete silence.”

61. Why was the comb feeling optimistic?
Because it always found the part to look forward to!

62. My new hairstyle is called the
‘Eclipse’ – it’s overshadowing my face!

63. Why did the hair get a job in advertising?
Because it had a natural shine to it!

64. A bald man got a comb for his birthday.
He said he’d never part with it.

65. Why don’t hairs share their problems?
They’d rather brush it off!

66. I told my friend he had dandruff.
He said it was “flaky” news.

67. Why did the wig go to school?
To get a-head in life!

68. My barber won an award for his buzzcuts.
It was a “cut above” the rest.

69. What do you call an adventurous curly hair?
A “twist” of fate!


That concludes our hair-raising humor session! We hope these hair jokes provided a lighthearted ‘part’ in your day and ‘tressed’ up your mood. Remember, when life gets tangled, a good laugh is the best comb!


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