70 Funniest Hockey Jokes

Are you ready to break the ice with laughter? Here’s a collection hockey jokes that’ll slide smoothly into any conversation, no matter where the rink is. From goalies with butterfingers to players mastering the art of ‘icing’, these quips are sure to score some smiles!”

Hockey One-Liner Jokes

1. “Why was the hockey team bad at yoga? They kept getting stuck in the penalty pose.”

2. “Our goalie is so bad, we call him Swiss Cheese.”

3. “Why do hockey players never get hot? Because of all the fans!”

4. “Hockey: The coolest game on earth.”

5. My hockey team is great at multitasking: losing and fighting at the same time.

6. “Why are hockey players bad at math? They only know how to use a calculator.”

7. “What’s a hockey player’s favorite restaurant? Dunkin’ Donuts.”

8. “Why did the hockey player sit in the penalty box? He needed a break.”

9. Hockey: Where missing teeth is a fashion statement.

10. I’m a hockey fan: I love watching my hopes and dreams get iced.

11. “Why don’t hockey players get tired? They have three periods to rest.”

12. “I told my hockey team to chill out. They took it literally.”

13. “Why was the computer cold at the hockey game? It left its Windows open.”

14. “Why do hockey players carry sticks? To pick up the ice.”

15. “Our hockey team is so old, they knew the puck personally.”

Hockey Joke

16. “Why are hockey rinks round? To avoid being cornered.”

17. “Hockey: Where a toothless grin is a career milestone.”

18. “Why do hockey players make great drivers? They always hit the net.”

19. “My hockey team is so bad, they think the Stanley Cup is a coffee mug.”

20. “Why don’t hockey players get hot? They’re surrounded by fans.”

21. “Hockey: A sport where clean sheets mean the goalie did well.”

22. “Why are hockey players great musicians? They master the power play.”

23. Why was the hockey player bad at school? He got too many penalties.”

24. “Our goalie is so good, he could save a Word document.”

25. “Why did the hockey player fail at hide and seek? He kept getting caught off-ice.”

26. “My hockey team is so environmentally friendly, they recycle their losses.”

27. “Why do hockey players have such clean houses? They’re good at sweeping.”

28. “Why are hockey players great cooks? They’re experts at icing.”

29. “Hockey: Where ‘nice save’ has nothing to do with money.”

30. “Why don’t hockey players get lost? They always follow the puck.”

Best Hockey Puns

31. Why was the hockey team so good at geometry?
Because they knew all the angles!

32. What do you call a hockey player who spends all his time sitting on the ice?
A protractor!

33. Why don’t hockey players drink tea?
Because they prefer penealty boxes.

34. What did the hockey player say to his teammate?
“I’m really puck-er up for this game!”

35. Why was the hockey team so bad at math?
They could only count on their goalie.

36. Why are hockey rinks so well-lit?
So the players don’t get caught off-ice!

37. What do you call a group of musical hockey players?
A score-chestra!

38. How do hockey players stay cool?
By chilling in the penalty box.

39. Why did the hockey player go to art school?
To improve his goal-tending!

40. What do you call a hockey player who’s bad at his job?
Stick-tacularly awful.

Hockey Joke

41. How do you know a hockey player is romantic?
They always go for the puck-er!

42. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game?
To tie up the score.

43. What do you call an old-time hockey player?
A puck-er from the past.

44. Why was the hockey team so good at camping?
They were great at setting up tents
(intents)!

45. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a magician?
A hat trickster!

46. Why did the hockey player sit in the penalty box?
Because he needed a breakaway.

47. How does a hockey player keep his neighbor’s secrets?
He ices them out.

48. Why do hockey players always carry a spare stick?
In case they get into a sticky situation!

49. What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey?
A Tyrannoscore-us Rex!

50. Why was the hockey player a good musician?
He had great puck-ercussion!

Most Funny Hockey Jokes

51. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game?
He wanted to get to the high-sticking area!

52. What do you call a hockey player with a bad haircut?
A “mullet” on ice!

53. Why don’t hockey players drink herbal tea?
Because they prefer a good “check”!

54. How do you stop a hockey player from charging?
Take away his credit cards!

55. Why was the computer so good at hockey?
Because it had a hard drive!

56. What do you call a hockey player who makes cakes?
A batter on ice!

57. Why did the hockey player get a penalty in the library?
Too much body checking!

58. How do hockey players stay in shape?
By doing lots of “ice”-ometrics!

59. Why was the hockey player a good detective?
He always followed the puck!

60. What do you call a hockey player who’s also a farmer?
A crop checker!

Hockey Joke

61. Why are ghosts bad at hockey?
They always miss the net!

62. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music?
Puck ‘n’ roll!

63. Why did the hockey player cross the road?
To get to the “face-off” spot!

64. How do you know if a hockey player is an optimist?
He always looks for the “goal” lining!

65. Why did the hockey team go to space?
To shoot for the stars!

66. What do you call a monkey who plays hockey?
A chimp off the old blocker!

67. Why was the hockey player in school?
To get to the “head” of the class!

68. What’s a hockey player’s favorite kitchen utensil?
A slap chop!

69. Why did the hockey player get a job at the bakery?
He was great at icing!

70. How do you know a hockey player is good at puzzles?
They always find the missing “piece” (puck)!

Conclusion

Hope these hockey jokes added a bit of cheer to your day! Remember, whether on ice or on the field, every game has its moments of humor. Keep skating through life with a smile, and don’t forget to pass the joy around!

Share

Leave a Comment