90 Little Johnny Jokes to Make You Laugh

Introducing Little Johnny: the ever-curious schoolboy with a unique take on every classroom topic. Through his witty remarks and playful misunderstandings, he turns ordinary lessons into laughter-filled moments. Dive into his world, where humor meets education in the most unexpected ways!

Little Johnny One-Liner Jokes

1. Little Johnny said he’d do his homework in a flash, so he did it during a thunderstorm.

2. Asked why he brought scissors to class, Little Johnny said he wanted to “cut class.”

3. Little Johnny said his dog could do math. Turns out he’s a “Bark-matician.”

4. Little Johnny tried to season his math book; he said it needed some “thyme tables.

5. “Why the shoe on your desk, Johnny?” “You said we’d be learning about footnotes!”

6. Little Johnny’s take on languages: “I speak fluent sarcasm and a bit of homework excuses!”

7. “I broke my pencil in two,” said Little Johnny, “now it’s pointless.”

8. Little Johnny says his dog is great at music: “Every time I eat, he’s on beat.

9. Asked where his geography book was, Little Johnny said, “I’m on top of the world!”

10. Little Johnny wondered if his music teacher was called a “bandit.

11. Little Johnny on plants: “I’m friends with the flower because it rose to the occasion.

12. Why did you bring a ladder to school, Johnny?” “I wanted to go to high school!

13. Little Johnny to his math teacher: “I heard you have a lot of problems.”

14. Asked about his grades, Little Johnny said, “They’re below sea level.”

15. Why did you eat your homework, Johnny?” “You said it was a piece of cake!

Little Johnny Joke

16. Little Johnny’s take on music class: “I know a lot about heavy metal; I once dropped a tuba.”

17. Little Johnny said he’s reading a book on gravity, “It’s pulling me in!”

18. “Why did you bring sugar to class, Johnny?” “You said to make my answers sweet!”

19. “I tried to write a joke about paper,” Little Johnny said, “but it was tearable!”

20. “Why the broken compass, Johnny?” “I thought it would help me find my way in math!”

21. I brought a fan to school,” Little Johnny said, “to blow everyone away with my answers.

22. When asked about his favorite shape, Little Johnny said, “The circle, because it’s pointless!”

23. I put my math problems in the freezer,” Little Johnny said, “I wanted them to chill out!

24. “Why the sunglasses in school, Johnny?” “I’m just trying to look bright!”

25. Little Johnny to his teacher: “My dog is a great reader; every time I read, he pawses!”

26. Little Johnny in biology: “If you cross a snowman and a dog, you get Frostbite!”

27. “Why the suitcase, Johnny?” “You said today’s lesson was packed with information!”

28. Why did you sleep with your ruler, Johnny?” “To measure how long I slept!

29. Little Johnny in chemistry: “I think my bonds with these elements are purely chemical!”

30. “Why the calendar, Johnny?” “I heard dates were important in history class!”

Best Little Johnny Puns

31. Teacher: “Little Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people’s lives?”
Little Johnny: “Sure, King-sized, Queen-sized, and Twin-sized!”

32. Teacher: “Little Johnny, where is the English Channel?”
Little Johnny: “I think my dad watches it on TV after the news!

33. Teacher: “If you had five apples in one hand and six in the other, what would you have?”
Little Johnny: “Huge hands!”

34. Teacher: “Little Johnny, why are you late for school every day?”
Little Johnny: “Every time I come to a corner, the sign says ‘School – Go Slow’.”

35. Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Little Johnny: “A teacher.”

36. Teacher: “Little Johnny, how can you prove the Earth is round?”
Little Johnny: “Because if it were flat, cats would’ve pushed everything off by now!”

37. Little Johnny’s teacher: “Your essay on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?”
Little Johnny: “No, teacher. It’s the same dog!”

38. Teacher: “Little Johnny, which word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?”
Little Johnny: “Incorrectly.”

39. Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?”
Little Johnny: “HIJKLMNO.”
Teacher: “What are you talking about?”
Little Johnny: “Yesterday you said it’s H to O.”

40. Teacher: “How do you spell ‘crocodile’?”
Little Johnny: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L.”
Teacher: “No, that’s wrong.”
Little Johnny: “Maybe, but you asked me how I spell it!”

41. Teacher: “Little Johnny, name two pronouns.”
Little Johnny: “Who, me?”

42. Teacher: “Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?”
Little Johnny: “You told me to do it without using tables!”

43. Teacher: “What is the capital of France?”
Little Johnny: “F.”

44. Teacher: “Little Johnny, can you tell me what a liar is?”
Little Johnny: “Yes, ma’am. A liar is a person who tells their kids that they’ll wake them up when they get to the fun part of the amusement park.”

45. Little Johnny: “Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”
Teacher: “Of course not.”
Little Johnny: “Good, because I didn’t do my homework.”

Little Johnny Joke

46. Teacher: “Little Johnny, your drawing looks like something I’ve seen. What is it?”
Little Johnny: “It’s a cow eating grass, ma’am.”
Teacher: “Where’s the grass?”
Little Johnny: “The cow ate it all.”
Teacher: “Then, where’s the cow?”
Little Johnny: “Why would she stay if there’s no more grass?”

47. Teacher: “Little Johnny, give me a sentence with the word ‘geometry’.”
Little Johnny: “A little acorn grew and grew until it was a geometry.”

48. Teacher: “If you had 10 cookies and someone took half, what would they have?”
Little Johnny: “A black eye.”

49. Teacher: “What is the future tense of the statement ‘I am hungry’?”
Little Johnny: “I will be hungry… unless the lunch bell rings now!”

50. Teacher: “Little Johnny, what comes after 69?”
Little Johnny: “Mouthwash!”

51. Teacher: “Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?”
Little Johnny: “In case he got a hole in one!”

52. Teacher: “How do you make holy water?”
Little Johnny: “You boil the hell out of it!”

53. Teacher: “What do you call fake spaghetti?”
Little Johnny: “An impasta!”

54. Teacher: “Why did the scarecrow get promoted?”
Little Johnny: “Because he was outstanding in his field!”

55. Teacher: “What do you call a bear in the rain?
Little Johnny: “A drizzly bear!

56. Teacher: “Why did the chicken join a band?
Little Johnny: “Because it had the drumsticks!”

57. Teacher: “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?”
Little Johnny: “Sofishticated!”

58. Teacher: “Why don’t scientists trust atoms?”
Little Johnny: “Because they make up everything!”

59. Teacher: “What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?”
Little Johnny: “Frostbite!”

60. Teacher: “What do you call a pile of kittens?”
Little Johnny: “A meowtain!”

Funniest Little Johnny Jokes

61. Teacher: “Why is your homework in your dad’s handwriting?”
Little Johnny: “I used his pen!”

62. Teacher: “Johnny, what’s the difference between the sun and the moon?”
Little Johnny: “The sun lights up my daytime, and the moon lights up my nighttime video games!”

63. Teacher: “Little Johnny, can you use the word ‘lettuce’ in a sentence?”
Little Johnny: “Let us out early and I promise to eat my vegetables!”

64. Teacher: “How do you spell ‘incorrectly’?”
Little Johnny: “I-N-C-O-R-R… wait a minute, nice try!”

65. Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence with the word ‘sugar’.”
Little Johnny: “I accidentally drank my goldfish, but don’t worry, it was a sweet accident!”

66. Teacher: “Johnny, name a word that starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘U-C-K’.”
Little Johnny: “Firetruck!”

67. Teacher: “Why did you bring your cat to school today?”
Little Johnny: “I heard we were having tuna for lunch!”

68. Teacher: “What’s the opposite of irony?”
Little Johnny: “Wrinkly!”

69. Teacher: “What is full of holes but still holds water?”
Little Johnny: “A strainer! Also, my alibi for not doing homework.”

70. Teacher: “If I gave you 3 cats, and another 3 cats and another 3, how many would you have?”
Little Johnny: “One big cat fight!”

71. Teacher: “Why is the math book sad?”
Little Johnny: “Because it has too many problems, just like me on a Monday morning!

72. Teacher: “What are you drawing?”
Little Johnny: “A cow eating grass.”
Teacher: “Where’s the grass?”
Little Johnny: “The cow ate it.”
Teacher: “Then where’s the cow?”
Little Johnny: “It left because there was no more grass to eat.”

73. Teacher: “How can you make seven even?”
Little Johnny: “Remove the ‘s’!”

74. Teacher: “Johnny, if you have 20 chocolates and you give half to your friend, what do you have?
Little Johnny: “A best friend.”

75. Teacher: “Where do you find giant snails?”
Little Johnny: “On the ends of giant’s fingers!”

Little Johnny Joke

76. Teacher: “Johnny, why did you eat your math homework?”
Little Johnny: “I thought it was a piece of pi.”

77. Teacher: “How do you spell ‘crocodile’?”
Little Johnny: “C-R-O-C-O-D-I-L-E. But it’s easier to spell ‘shoe’.”

78. Teacher: “How come I don’t see you during the recess?”
Little Johnny: “Because it’s the best hide and seek game ever!”

79. Teacher: “What’s your favorite historic period?”
Little Johnny: “Lunchtime!”

80. Teacher: “Little Johnny, why is your cat at school today?”
Little Johnny: “Because I heard my daddy say he was going to eat that pussy when mom leaves, so I’m saving him!

81. Teacher: “Why did the melon jump into the wedding?”
Little Johnny: “Because it cantaloupe!”

82. Teacher: “What do you call a seagull that flies over a bay?”
Little Johnny: “A bagel!

83. Teacher: “Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Little Johnny: “Because it wasn’t peeling well!”

84. Teacher: “What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Little Johnny: “Hi, bud!”

85. Teacher: “Why was the math book sad?”
Little Johnny: “Too many problems!”

86. Teacher: “What do you call a sleeping bull?”
Little Johnny: “A bulldozer!”

87. Teacher: “How does a snowman get around?”
Little Johnny: “By riding an ‘icicle’!”

88. Teacher: “Why did the cookie cry?”
Little Johnny: “Because his mom was a wafer too long!

89. Teacher: “How do you organize a cat party?”
Little Johnny: “You just purr-tend!”

90. Teacher: “Why don’t skeletons fight each other?”
Little Johnny: “They don’t have the guts!”

Conclusion

From numbers to nature, Little Johnny’s perspective has provided endless chuckles and light-hearted moments. His classroom antics remind us of the joy in curiosity and the fun side of learning. Here’s to more laughs with every lesson, the ‘Johnny’ way!”

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