70 Monday Jokes To Start Your Weekend

Brace yourself for some Monday humor! These one-liners are a light-hearted take on the typical Monday blues and our amusing attempts to get through the day. Enjoy and share the laughter!”

Monday One-Liner Jokes

1. Monday: The day I am one cup of coffee away from being a real-life emoji.

2. Monday: When reality hits you and it doesn’t miss.

3. Monday: The day my coffee is having a Monday too.

4. Monday: Because life is not meant to be easy.

5. Monday: The day even my GPS says “Good luck.”

6. Monday: The universe’s way of punishing us for the things we did over the weekend.

7. Monday: The day when my wine glass is jealous of my coffee mug.

8. Monday: Proof that time travel doesn’t exist, otherwise we’d all skip it.

9. Monday: The day the snooze button becomes my best friend.

10. Monday: The day I dress as my “serious” emoji.

Monday Joke

11. Monday: The day I play hide and seek with motivation.

12. Monday: When my to-do list just says, “Survive.”

13. Monday: The day I realize adulting is a scam.

14. Monday: The day I work hard to keep my inner Grinch in check.

15. Monday: The calendar’s way of saying the weekend’s over, now back to reality!

16. Monday: The day I need a ladder to climb over the pile of emails.

17. Monday: When the hardest decision is choosing which coffee will resurrect me.

18. Monday: The day I consider adding coffee to my coffee.

19. Monday: The only day when my phone’s “motivational quotes” actually make sense.

20. Monday: The day I give my ambition a pep talk.

Best Monday Puns

21. Why are Mondays like a bad joke?
They keep coming back, but nobody’s laughing.

22. Monday is an alien language for
“too early to function.”

23. Monday should be optional.
I’d opt out.

24. Monday has been canceled.
Go back to sleep.

25. Mondays are the potholes
in the road of life.

26. The only thing worse than a Monday is a
Tuesday pretending it’s still Monday.

27. Mondays: The day when my coffee
needs a coffee.

28. Mondays are the start of my
liver’s workweek.

29. If each day is a gift,
I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.

30. Monday is like a math problem: add the irritation,
subtract the sleep, multiply the work, divide the happiness.

Monday Joke

31. Mondays are like a big test
you forgot to study for.

32. Monday is the day I plan to turn over a new leaf,
and by noon I’m looking for a rake.

33. On Mondays,
my spirit animal is a sloth.

34. Why did Monday break up with Sunday?
Because Monday found out Sunday was a day of rest!

35. The only good thing about seeing my coworkers on Monday is they’re the only people I don’t
have to apologize to for my weekend behavior.

36. Monday: the day when
even my coffee needs a coffee.

37. Monday is like getting stood up on a date,
but it happens every week.

38. Monday is the day that my coffee
cup keeps asking for a refill.

39. Mondays are like that person who showed up uninvited
to your party and won’t leave.

40. If Monday was a gift,
I’d happily exchange it for a Tuesday.

Funniest Monday Jokes

41. Monday is the day my phone’s alarm enjoys
a game of ‘snooze button tennis.’

42. Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?
It’s a conspiracy!

43. Monday is like a YouTube ad –
you can’t skip it no matter how much you want to.

44. If Monday were a person, it’d be the one who reminds
the teacher about homework.

45. Monday has been found guilty of multiple
counts of morning cruelty.

46. If days of the week were people,
Monday would be the one who always forgets their wallet at lunch.

47. Monday is like that one guest at the party
who never gets the hint to leave.

48. Why do I take coffee on Mondays?
It’s a liquid hug for my brain.

49. Monday: the moment when Sunday stops feeling like Sunday
and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.

50. Mondays are like a mosquito bite –
annoying and hard to ignore.

51. Monday is the evil twin
of Sunday.

52. Monday is the superhero
nobody asked for.

53. If life is a party,
Monday is the hangover.

54. Why did the tomato turn red on Monday?
Because it saw the salad dressing for work.

55. Monday is like a math problem: if I sleep for 3 hours and have to be up in 2 hours,
how much coffee will I need?

Monday Joke

56. Monday is the day my coffee
needs a motivational speech.

57. Monday: the day when even my
smartphone seems tired.

58. Mondays are like that boss who pops up and says,
‘We need to talk.’

59. If Monday was a haircut, it would be the mullet –
business in the front, regret at the back.

60. Monday is the day when my to-do
list needs a weekend to recover.

61. Why do Mondays move so slowly?
They’re trying not to wake up the rest of the week!

62. Monday is like a math problem.
Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.

63. I swear it was Friday
like five minutes ago.

64. Mondays are to workers
what jump scares are to horror movie characters.

65. If Monday had a face,
I’d punch it.

66. Keep calm and pretend
it’s not Monday.

67. Dear Monday, I think you should take a holiday!
Trust me, no one will miss you.

68. Monday is the day
that my coffee needs a coffee.

69. Mondays are like a big, fat man blocking your way.
You can’t see Tuesday yet!

70. Monday is a basic math equation:
Me + Coffee = Less Monday.


Hopefully these Monday jokes brought a smile to your face! Remember, every Monday is a chance to start fresh – even if it starts with a laugh. Here’s to conquering the week ahead with a bit more cheer!


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