Spiders might be small, but their humor is big and full of surprises. Dive into these jokes and see the webby world in a whole new light. They sure know how to make you laugh!
Spider One-Liner Jokes
1. “Hang in there,” said the spider to its next meal.
2. Spiders are the true inventors of the ‘net.
3. Went to a spider comedy club; all the jokes were web-rated.
4. Spiders are always on the web, but they never need Wi-Fi.
5. The spider’s favorite instrument? The web-cordion.
6. Why did the spider buy a smartphone? For the web apps!
7. I told a spider a secret; now it’s all over the web.
8. Spiders are nature’s web designers.
9. Heard about the musical spider? He plays the web-board.
10. My spider friend started a business – now he’s a web-entrepreneur.
11. Spiders hate rainy days because their webs get browser errors.
12. Do spiders use computers? Yes, but just for web browsing.
13. A spider’s favorite holiday spot? The World Wide Web.
14. I asked the spider for his webpage, and he gave me his address.
15. Why don’t spiders need GPS? They always follow their web.
16. The spider became a journalist; now he spins stories, not webs.
17. Spiders in the library are always in the web-erary section.
18. Why was the spider great at poker? He knew when to play his web card.
19. Spiders are the original dark web users.
20. Why was the spider so knowledgeable? He was a web scholar.
Best Spider Puns
21. Why did the spider go to the doctor?
He had webbed feet.
22. What do spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
23. Why was the spider always busy?
Because he was always on the web.
24. How do you organize a spider party?
You spin a web-invite!
25. Why did the spider get kicked off the computer?
Too many web cookies.
26. How do spiders communicate at night?
Web Morse code.
27. Why did the computer keep freezing?
There was a spider on the web page.
28. Why was the spider great at school?
He was the top of the web class.
29. What’s a spider’s favorite shoe brand?
Webbingtons.
30. What did the spider say during the race?
“I webbed my way to first place!”
31. Why did the spider buy a car?
He wanted to drive on the webway.
32. Why did the spider sit down at the keyboard?
To type a web-letter.
33. How do you know a spider is a detective?
When it’s always on the web looking for clues.
34. What’s a spider’s favorite TV show?
“Web of Lies.”
35. Why was the spider so popular?
He had web charisma.
36. Why don’t spiders get stuck in their own webs?
They know the best escape web-sites.
37. What do you call a spider who can dance?
A web-jiver.
38. What do spiders use to keep their pants up?
Web-belts.
39. Why did the spider join the gym?
To get better at web lifting.
40. Why was the spider a great chef?
He knew how to stir the web pot.
Funniest Spider Jokes
41. Why did the spider attend the funeral?
To weave the last web for the fly.
42. Spiders are the only ones who like a good hang,
even if it’s their dinner.
43. If a spider started a funeral home,
they’d offer web-to-web service.
44. “You’ll get caught in my web,” said the spider to the depressed fly.
“Finally,” the fly replied.
45. Why did the spider get a job at the morgue?
He was great at wrapping things up.
46. The spider’s favorite game?
Spin the bottle… of poison.
47. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity written by a spider.
It’s impossible to put down.
48. The spider loved the haunted house
all the bugs were already wrapped up.
49. Why did the spider get kicked out of the crime scene?
He tried to string up his own evidence.
50. The spider was thrilled about the graveyard
all the bugs were just lying around.
51. Why did the fly sit with the spider at lunch?
It had a death wish.
52. What’s a spider’s favorite Shakespeare play?
“Webbeth.”
53. When a spider is your mortician,
you’re bound to have a silky smooth exit.
54. The spider’s drink of choice?
Dark roast… with a dash of fly.
55. “Caught any good meals lately?” asked the mosquito.
The spider replied, “Just a few nosy
neighbors.”
56. The spider to the fly: “Come over for dinner,
you’ll be the guest of honor… on my plate.”
57. Why did the spider get hired as an executioner?
He had experience with deadly traps.
58. What do you call a spider that’s great at mysteries?
A web sleuth, with some deadly conclusions.
59. Why was the spider the best at hide-and-seek?
Because the losers never lived to tell the tale.
60. Spiders are nature’s reminder
that some surprises come with a deadly twist.
61. Why do spiders love drama?
They’re experts at weaving tangled webs of deceit.
62. Spider yoga class:
where poses are just tangled webs we weave.
63. Why did the spider sit in the therapist’s office?
It was dealing with entangled emotions… and wanted snack suggestions.
64. A spider’s life motto?
“You’re just a web away from your last breath.”
65. The spider started a dating service:
“Dinner dates where YOU are the meal!”
66. Why did the spider get a job in espionage?
Because every web has its secrets.
67. The spider at the crime scene whispered,
“It’s not murder if they fly into your web.”
68. Spiders love telling stories,
especially the ones that trap you till the very end.
69. Why did the spider watch horror movies?
For web-design inspiration.
Conclusion
Thanks for hanging out in our web of jokes! Hope you had a laugh or two. Until next time, keep smiling and watch out for those playful spiders!