70 Terrible Jokes To Make You Laugh

Prepare to groan and giggle with these ‘terrible jokes’ that are so bad, they’re good. These jokes are perfect for breaking the ice or just sharing a light-hearted moment. Embrace the silliness and enjoy the simple joy of these classic, corny one-liners.”

Terrible One-Liner Jokes

1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

2. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

3. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

4. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.

5. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

6. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

7. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.

8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

9. Bono and The Edge walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again!”

10. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

Terrible Joke

11. I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

12. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!

13. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

14. I’d tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.

15. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

16. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

17. I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.

18. I’m reading a book on the history of rubber bands. It’s a stretch.

19. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

20. My math teacher called me average. How mean!

Best Terrible Puns

21. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.

22. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

23. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.

24. What do you call an alligator detective?
An investi-gator.

25. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!

26. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”

27. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

28. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.

29. I would tell you a roof joke,
but it’s over your head.

30. What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.

Terrible Joke

31. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!

32. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

33. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.

34. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.

35. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.

36. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!

37. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.

38. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

39. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!

40. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.

Funniest Terrible Jokes

41. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!

42. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

43. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!

44. What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time.

45. I would tell you a construction joke,
but I’m still working on it.

46. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

47. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.

48. I told my computer I needed a break,
and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.

49. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

50. I’m terrified of elevators,
so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

51. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

52. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.

53. I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands.

54. Why don’t scientists trust stairs?
Because they’re always up to something.

55. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.

Terrible Joke

56. I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year.
Now I’m dealing with emotional
baggage.

57. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.

58. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish.

59. I’m on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.

60. Why don’t some birds follow the law?
Because they are illegal eagles.

61. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!

62. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.

63. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go.

64. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!

65. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!

66. What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time.

67. I would tell you a construction joke,
but I’m still working on it.

68. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

69. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.

70. I told my computer I needed a break,
and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.

Conclusion

Hopefully you found some joy in these delightfully terrible jokes. Remember, sometimes the best laughs come from the simplest quips. Share these with friends and spread the cheer of good, old-fashioned humor!

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