70 Funniest Toilet Paper Jokes

Ready to roll with laughter? The humble toilet paper isn’t just a bathroom essential—it’s a source of pure comedic gold. As we unspool these hilarious puns, you’ll see that humor can indeed be found in the most unexpected places. Dive in and enjoy the wipe-tastic fun!

Toilet Paper One-Liner Jokes

1. Bought 4D toilet paper; now I can wipe in the future.

2. My toilet paper has commitment issues; it never sticks around.

3. Budget toilet paper: for those who like to live on the edge.

4. My toilet paper went to school; now it’s on a roll.

5. I bought singing toilet paper, but it’s just a note too high.

6. Exercise tip: try unrolling toilet paper with your non-dominant hand.

7. “Out of TP” is my home’s code for a level 10 emergency.

8. Double-ply toilet paper: because some problems require backup.

9. I got toilet paper that’s “rough and tough”; didn’t know I was buying a cowboy.

10. I don’t trust single-ply toilet paper; too many underlying issues.

Toilet Paper Joke

11. My toilet paper is so luxurious it refuses to roll without a red carpet.

12. Why did the toilet paper get a watch? It wanted to clean up in time.

13. My toilet paper thinks it’s a wizard; keeps yelling “Roll-a-mora!”

14. Bought unscented toilet paper; now my problems don’t smell of roses.

15. My toilet paper’s so posh, it demands classical music before it unrolls.

16. Eco-friendly toilet paper: it’s wiped before it’s used.

17. In a paperless society, I bet toilet paper will be the last to go.

18. “Why so tense?” asked the therapist. “Toilet paper,” I replied.

19. If toilet paper were currency, some of us would be royally flushed.

20. My toilet paper’s so soft, it’s basically cloud service.

Best Toilet Paper Puns

21. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!

22. What did one sheet of toilet paper say to the other?
“You crack me up!”

23. Why was the toilet paper always so good at hide and seek?
Because it knew how to wipe away the evidence!

24. Why did the toilet paper get a promotion?
Because it always wiped up the competition!

25. Why was the computer stressed?
Because it had too many open tabs and not enough toilet paper.

26. Why did the scarecrow use toilet paper?
Because he wanted to scare the crap out of the crows!

27. What did the toilet paper say to the fart?
“You blow me away!”

28. Why was the toilet paper blushing?
Because it saw the bathroom’s bottom!

29. How does toilet paper party?
It rolls with the punches!

30. Why was the toilet paper so musical?
Because every time it rolled, it dropped a beat!

31. Why did the toilet paper get in trouble at school?
For acting too tearable!

32. What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Wrap… and their favorite product? Toilet paper!

33. Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack!

34. What did the flirtatious toilet paper say?
“Wipe here often?”

35. Why was the toilet paper always so optimistic?
Because every little problem was just a small tear away!

Toilet Paper Joke

36. Why did the toilet paper never get lost?
Because it always found its roll in the world.

37. How does toilet paper feel when you overuse it?

38. Why was the toilet paper so good at meditation?
Because it knew how to sit in peace and
roll with it.

39. Why did the toilet paper bring string to the party?
It wanted to have a ripping good time!

40. What did the toilet paper do during the lockdown?
It rolled with the times!

41. Why was the toilet paper so distressed?
It had too many perforating problems.

42. Why did the toilet paper get kicked out of school?
For too many roll violations.

43. My toilet paper’s got a problem;
it’s always on a roll but never makes any progress.

44. Why was the toilet paper so bad at making decisions?
It would always tear on the dotted line.

45. What’s a toilet paper’s problem during an argument?
It can’t stand its ground; it just rolls over.

46. What do you call a toilet paper with trust issues?
A skeptical wipe.

47. Did you hear about the toilet paper’s relationship problem?
It felt constantly torn.

48. Why did the toilet paper see the doctor?
It had splitting issues.

49. The real problem with the invisible toilet paper?
You can’t see the end of it.

50. Why was the toilet paper so sad at the beach?
It felt washed up and out of place.

Most Funny Toilet Paper Jokes

51. Why did the toilet paper break up with the tissue?
It felt like things were getting too “messy”.

52. Why did the toilet paper file for divorce?
It was tired of dealing with crap.

53. After last year’s toilet paper shortage, I tried using newspaper.
The real issue? Now my butt has fake news.

54. My friend said she’s dating a roll of toilet paper.
She likes men who are sensitive but strong.

55. Why did the toilet paper visit the therapist?
It felt wiped out by its issues.

56. How do you organize a bathroom party?
You roll with the toilet papers and flush the bash!

57. What do the toilet paper and a good bartender have in common?
They both know when to throw in the roll.

58. My therapist told me to let go of my issues.
I said, “But they’re not like toilet paper. I can’t just flush them away!”

59. I asked my wife to pick up some ‘sensual’ toilet paper.
She came back with four play… layers.

60. Why did the toilet paper avoid the pub?
It didn’t want to end up in the wrong kind of roll.

Toilet Paper Joke

61. How does toilet paper flirt at a bar?
“Hey there, care for a roll in the sheets?”

62. Why did the toilet paper refuse to play poker?
Because it didn’t want to deal with anyone’s crap.

63. I tried using recycled toilet paper.
It felt like déjà poo.

64. My date asked me how I see myself in 5 years.
I said, “Probably still wrestling with the toilet paper at public restrooms.”

65. What’s the difference between life and a roll of toilet paper?
Life can sometimes feel like it’s not long enough and it doesn’t always roll smoothly.

66. Why did the toilet paper bring a tie to the date?
It wanted to look flush and fancy.

67. My friend bragged about his luxury toilet paper.
I told him, “Quit flaunting your assets.”

68. I once dated a roll of toilet paper.
It was a whirlwind romance, but in the end, things just unraveled.

69. After too many drinks, the toilet paper texted the plunger:
“Want to roll over and handle some issues together?”

70. Why did the toilet paper prefer mature partners?
Because it couldn’t deal with immature crap anymore.


Thanks for rolling along with these toilet paper jests! Remember, life’s too short not to giggle at the little things. So, until next time, keep smiling and unrolling the humor!


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