Hold onto your shopping carts! We’re rolling into a comedy sale with punchlines priced lower than a Black Friday deal. Here’s a checkout line of jokes sure to ring up some smiles.
Black Friday One-Liner Jokes
1. Black Friday: making “fast and furious” look like a leisurely cart stroll.
2. Black Friday sales are like a box of chocolates; they’re gone before you know it.
3. Black Friday – where “add to cart” is my cardio.
4. My favorite Black Friday activity is turning my receipts into origami.
5. Black Friday logic: Buy it all, sort it out later.
6. Black Friday: the day my credit card becomes a ninja – it sneaks out and chops prices!
7. You’re never too old for Black Friday” – said no credit limit ever.
8. They say patience is a virtue, but they haven’t seen a Black Friday checkout line.
9. Black Friday: when “splash sale” sounds like an extreme sport.
10. Black Friday: where you’ll find more elbows flying than at a mixed martial arts event.
11. Sold Out” – the two words that haunt me more than “Monday morning.
12. Black Friday: where wallets open wider than store doors.
13. Black Friday: giving the term “shop ’til you drop” a literal meaning.
14. Black Friday is like the Olympics: the gold medal is 50% off.
15. Black Friday – the day when “I’m just browsing” turns into “I’ll take five of those.”
16. Why pay full price when you can pay half price twice as often on Black Friday?
17. On Black Friday, you’re not shopping. You’re treasure hunting.
18. Black Friday: because “financial responsibility” sounds like a problem for Future Me.
19. Limited Stock” on Black Friday is the adult version of musical chairs.
20. Who needs a gym membership when you’ve got Black Friday crowd surfing?
Best Black Friday Puns
21. Why don’t turkeys shop on Black Friday?
Because they can’t fit in the fridge with all the leftovers!
22. Black Friday: The day people trample each other for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
23. Black Friday is like The Hunger Games.
People kill each other and the winner gets a $20 crock pot.
24. Black Friday: Proof that speed and agility training
can happen outside of the gym.
25. Black Friday checklist: Wallet? Check. Running shoes? Check. Sanity?
No need, it’s Black Friday!
26. How is Black Friday just like Halloween?
Everyone is searching for the best boo-tique deals!
27. Why did the smartphone go to Black Friday sale?
It wanted to call dibs on the best deals!
28. What’s the difference between Black Friday and a yoga class?
One has people bending over backwards for a little peace, and the other has no peace and no space.
29. Why do Black Friday shoppers make the best athletes?
Because they always grab the best deals on the run!
30. Black Friday is a scam.
You should be mad they overcharged you 364 days a year.
31. How can you spot the bodybuilder at a Black Friday sale?
He’s the one bench pressing the doorbuster deals.
32. Black Friday slogan: “Shop till you drop –
or until you realize your credit limit did first.”
33. I don’t know what’s tighter,
the doorbuster crowds or my budget after Black Friday shopping.
34. Black Friday is the day I can finally say to my bank account,
“I prepared for this all year.”
35. What’s a pirate’s favorite part about Black Friday?
The arrrrrr-ly doorbusters!
36. What do Black Friday and a yoga retreat have in common?
In the end, you lose your balance.
37. Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
38. How did the shopper feel after Black Friday?
Like he had lost a lot of cents (sense).
39. Why don’t Black Friday sales work on ghosts?
Because they’re always looking for the boo-for-one specials!
40. They say the early bird catches the worm, but on Black Friday, the early bird catches the best deals… and possibly a mild concussion.
41. Black Friday: the only day you can see people practicing sprinting,
wrestling, and weightlifting all in the aisles of a department store.
42. Black Friday is like a real-life game of
Tetris with shopping carts.
43. I saw a book on “How to Deal with Crowds” on sale this Black Friday
but I couldn’t reach it through the crowd.
44. Why do they call it Black Friday?
Because by the time you find a parking spot, it’s Saturday!
45. On Black Friday,
my credit card asked me for a day off.
46. What’s a Black Friday enthusiast’s favorite board game?
Monopoly, because they’ve already practiced buying everything real quick.
47. Why did the chicken cross the road on Black Friday?
To get to the deals before they were all gobbled up!
48. Black Friday shopping is the only sport where you’re guaranteed to lose pounds
from your wallet.
49. How is Black Friday like Halloween?
Everyone’s grabbing all the goodies, and the scary part is the morning credit card statement.
50. They say love is the most important thing,
but have you ever seen a Black Friday clearance aisle?
Most Funny Black Friday Jokes
51. What’s a math teacher’s favorite part of Black Friday?
Multiplying their savings and subtracting from the prices!
52. Black Friday: where “Stand back, I’m going to try science” meets “Stand back,
I’m going to try shopping.”
53. How do you know Santa is good at Black Friday shopping?
He’s got the best “elf” help around!
54. If Black Friday was a movie, it would be called,
“Everything Must Go: The Wallet’s Journey.”
55. Why was the computer cold on Black Friday?
It left its Windows open.
56. What’s Black Friday’s favorite song?
“Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes” by David Bowie, because that’s all you’ll have left in your pocket!
57. They say on Black Friday,
you can hear the wild call of the shopper: “I saw it first!”
58. If Thanksgiving is where we say what we’re thankful for, then Black Friday is when we put that thankfulness to the test by grabbing the last discounted TV.
59. Why was the belt arrested on Black Friday?
It held up a pair of pants!
60. I went Black Friday shopping and
all I got was this lousy joke.
61. Why did the calendar go shopping on Black Friday?
It wanted its days to be numbered with savings!
62. What’s a ghost’s favorite day of the year?
Black “Fright-day,” because the deals are so good, it’s scary!
63. If Black Friday were a sandwich,
it’d be called “Buy one, get one free-loaf.”
64. What’s the Black Friday shopper’s motto?
“Keep calm and carry-out merchandise.”
65. Why don’t they play hide and seek on Black Friday?
Good luck hiding when everyone’s already found the best deals!
66. Black Friday is like the Super Bowl of shopping,
except every tackle is for 50% off and there’s no halftime show.
67. Black Friday has its own nursery rhyme:
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Friday’s the day we all shop in a rush.”
68. Why did the smartphone keep an eye on the calendar?
It couldn’t wait for the “app-tastic” Black Friday deals!
69. Why do Black Friday shoppers make terrible soccer players?
Because they always grab the merchandise before it’s a goal!
70. On Black Friday, my coffee is like a doorbuster deal:
Tall, dark, and strong enough to get me through the chaos!
71. During Black Friday,
I don’t recognize people for their faces but for their shopping strategies.
72. On Black Friday, my most consistent cardio workout is running back to grab the things I forgot in the previous aisle.
73. Black Friday: the day when consumer electronics fly off the shelves faster than a high-speed processor.
74. Why do Black Friday shoppers make great comedians?
They always pick up the best punchlines!
75. Black Friday: It’s all fun and games
until someone loses a wallet.
76. Black Friday tip: Bring a sofa to camp out in front of the store.
That way, you’re always first in line and comfortable!
Conclusion
And that’s a wrap on our shopping spree of smiles! Whether you’ve scored a great deal or just a good laugh, remember, on Black Friday, every shopper’s motto should be “Laugh more, stress less!” Until our next comedic clearance, keep your carts light and your spirits high!